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Editing

Nobody forces you to write in "public servant" or "starchy" language, any more than a police officer is forced to speak in stiff but funny police language. Here's a sample from real life to show how stiff language can be, and how smooth and easy it is after editing:

Original stiff: How does the Change Group propose to ensure that interlinkages between various departments/sections in the newly merged organisation will occur and that this organisation does not simply enshrine what has occurred in the past - both culturally and operationally?

Edited smooth: How will the Change Group ensure that newly merged sections work together on projects, rather than just repeating what each section did in the past?

Here's another one: This issues paper addresses the issues related to debate around improving student outcomes from the perspective of the role of statutory requirements. One key action required is a changed educational paradigm that addresses disjunctions at the compulsory/post compulsory interface. Systematic and synergistic data collection on student destinations would provide a strong platform from which key decisions can be made. The facilitation of pathways between schools and between schools and post school destinations that cater for an alternative range of pathways is a priority.

Edited "translation": This paper looks at how outcomes for students can be improved, from the statutory requirements point of view. One change we really need is a new educational outlook that can handle the malfunctions that occur at the point where compulsory education finishes and life after compulsory education starts. Before we start to make key decisions, we need strong data that tell us where students are going now. We must make it a priority to cater for the different ways in which students can move between schools — and between schools, tertiary institutions, and work.

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